bleh.

did a lot today. went to church. after, went to eastridge. then went to wheel works, cause our tire had a slow leak? and since my cousin is the manager? he got us a discount, so we had to kill an hour, so me, my mom, brother and sister. walked to target and got stuff. we got rock band 2 ! WHOO! and then my other cousin met up with us at wheel works. and then we went to valleyfair. looked around. tried purple eye-liner. its cute! but freaking 16 dollars! so, its alright. hm, i think i know what ima get mariel for christmas. and i had so many ideas for donita, but i think we're doing a gift exchange. so i didnt get anything. uh after valleyfair, went to kfc. ate there. then went home. my cousin had to go home, so only me and aj played rockband 2. it was fun. unlocked a couple of songs. and now, gotta get ready for school. great :/
dad's not coming home until tuesday night, so i gotta walk to school. i want a bike! just so i wouldnt have to walk ;p! mk, gnite!

H I !

so, yesterday went to great mall.. CROWDED! no parking, took us forever just to find one. stayed until like 8. there wasnt really anything there. so today, gonna leave for church at like 12:15. gonna go to MHT. then i think after, we're gonna go to valleyfair. jeez, im hungry! k, time to eat(; byes!

oh, i had the craziest dream last night! haha, people wanted to beat up marc. but then there were people who had marc's back, so like there was a looong line to beat up marc, and a line who was backing up marc. so like i was the first person in line to back marc up right, and then the first person in the other line was michael. so then we fought. HAH, i beat him up :p haha! hm, there was like other parts to that dream too. i liked it though. but its like a dream id like to make into reality. but whatevers. i have the drums! whooo! now, aj has to spraypaint his hair green! BAHAHAHAH, we made a bet. so yeah! but we cant go to practice on monday. so i guess ill just bring it on tuesday.

hello.

hm, nothing to say. BORED outta my mind. slept in. felt really sick! so, stayed home. bonded with my sister. baked. i guess, sorta bonded with my brother. OH, i gotta find the drums for FSU! hmm, i know where it is.. he just doesnt know it (x haha. well, i guess nothings really new lately. my dad spent thanksgiving with us, so thats good.. right? maybe his mind is slowly changing ? boy, i hope so!
HAPPY late THANKSGIVING! i went to MHT, the mass was nice! the languages were all mixed together. like in the songs. it was, spanish, tagalog, vietnamese, and english. i saw people there. everyone was dressed nice. then after, we went out to eat. then went home, and my mom cooked for our first thanksgiving at our house. pretty wierd though. usually we'd be going to fairfield for thanksgiving. i'm thankful for many things. maybe too many things to put here. haha. tomorrows plan, my mom wants to go to great mall.. so i guess im going to great mall tomorrow. i havent been there in the longest time. gotta start buying christmas presents. oh great. -___-'

hm, are things working out? well.. not really. i guess i should step up and try to solve this, yeah? hahah, i dont know yet. maybe later in time, it'll get fixed and things would change. but right now, some things are starting to fade.

oranges.

happy one month!!

so so, im sick )= rawr. maan, got it from my brother "/ anyways, today was alriite. slept in 4th period. THE WHOOLE PERIOD (= after school. went to target with mariel and martin. haha, mariel martin (; martin was hilarious today! went to practice. learned the girls dance. well, maybe its not all of it.. but yeaah. going home was fun. probably ONE OF THE highlights of today. the first one was martin @ target! and then going home. soo soo, there were 6 people. 3 bikes. randy, martin beleva, and marc jimenez. then me, aj, and alex rode on their handlebars. hahah.. my foot got stuck in the tires. while the bike was still moving -__- aj rode with randy. alex with martin. me with marc. it was funny. (= good times, good times!
mmk, i wanna get better. so time to sleep? maybe (; haha. kk, nite.

TURKEY TROT TOMORROW, fuuck ):<
i hope it rains ;p

its almost..

our one month!
i love you babe<3

venting o5.

ya know, im kinda tired of always venting out on blogs. :/ but its like the only way i could let feelings out without going to anyone in person. cause i cant just keep it in, and if i do.. who knows, i mite be such a total wreck. well, i dont know whats up anymore. my dads here and there. and i hope in the end he just chooses to stay here. -sigh- my moms in so much pain right now. we went out today. and she told us that she loves my dad very much, and shes hurt. and she told us other stuff also, but only cause i told her shes thinking about it too much. and shes worrying about it too much also. but she does have a point. its cause she loves him, and she needs to let her feelings out. just like how i need to, but i do that on blogs X: and she does it by talking it out. i would talk about it, but i know id just end up crying. well anyways. i can't stop thinking about whats about to happen. because whatever he chooses will affect us in some way. good or bad. but it doesnt matter. cause i just want him to come back. and i guess he sorta told me, that he is leaving. but in a way, it sounded as if he were to come back. he said that he was moving to concord to go to school for two years, but then what? idk. i just wish for hope. because i do think some people deserve a second chance. and either that would be us, or him. i wouldnt mind. having him come back would make a-whole-nother difference. im tired of being confused. im tired of not knowing everything. and im tired of keeping everything in. im tired of being afraid. im tired of being scared to face the truth. im just tired of everything. but i just cant face it. i can't handle it. but i really am tired of it. i wish i could just do something about it, instead of just saying it. i know i could. if i really tried to. unfortunately, my dad didnt come home tonight. so thats one lie i got from him so far. cause on friday, when he left. i said my goodbyes, and i said see you sunday. and he said yes, see you sunday. but hes not here. and thats like all i can vent out for now, cause i still dont know much about whats going on.. goodnight. iloveyoudad, annd i miss you.

yuup

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARTIN MENDIOLA! jeez, the things i do for you :p haha(inside joke.) hmm, soo today was boring. well, sorta. stayed home. did homework :x annd yeah thats pretty much it. tomorrow, gonna go to church in the morning. have breakfast with mom, aj, and arianna. theen mall ?

2moredaaays<3 (;

i guess.

daaang, finally saw you today. jeez, havent talked to you for, FOREVER! you owe me an airplane baaabygirl.

well, anyways today. was cool. i felt funny walking around campus though. with the mankala? sunka? whatever the board is called. haha, im hella smart! soo freaking genius, used a padlock(; i bet people are gonna start using that now. haha! omg, it was kinda embarassing, cause as i walked, i kept hitting people. especially myself :x haha. uhm, during lunch i got 2 oranges. i get an orange from thao for christmas(; haha, so lame but whatevers, im getting her a box of crayons! haha, we are cool! ooh so during lunch, had an orange peel fight, somewhat haha! then played mancala? or is it with a k, well whatever, we played it with skittles! went to pcn? fsu practice, whatever. learned part of the dance, thanks eric for helping me!(; took club picture for the yearbook. sat next to kelly<3 hmm, not much new. RYAN COME VISIT UGLY!(= annnd, MARIEL you have my ID thingy, with my keys on it! aaron babe(= you have my clip ): i was looking for it.. wait, do you have it O_o ahah, whateevs! k, homework calls. time to get to work :/

4moredaays(;

say goodbye.

chris brown - say goodbye.mp3
before i head off to bed, and go to sleep. i just gotta get this off my chest. even though i know that person wont be reading this but whatever, this just helps. well, i cant stop thinking. i mean like about this problem that i have. its kinda personal, but its whatevers. people know about it. but i havent talked to THE person about it. i guess, you can say, im hurt. not physically. but ya know? sigh, how could you just do that to me? if you really wanted to, you would at least try to. i mean, yeah you know what im talking about.. you just dont know that to me, its a problem. haha, well yeah.i hope things work out, i hope this gets better in time, and sooner or later if things dont happen i guess i just have to say goodbye..

curious george

is on(; i watched it!! haha!

hm, a lot has been going through my mind. but whatevers. its all good. ANND, im starting to get siick )= thanks to aj! that dumbhoe. daaang, hm.. martins birthday is coming up. twilight is coming out soon! our 1 month is getting closer too(= grading period is gonna be ending in a couple days. so so, today went to target after school with meilani and maryann villamor, and mariel mackay. waited for jenny and donita, but donita wasnt able to go. jeez so many people went to target today! like people from creek. it was cold today! really cold D: OHMY, thanksgiving is coming up(= wooot woot! oh wait, damn! im gonna get fat ): oh well, ahah time to go do homework! bye byes!

kaaapamilya

whooooo! im happy, i stole a groups symbol today =X it was fun! so like after school, waited for mariel with martin. decided to go into the leadership room to put mariels cookie dough in the fridge, and then i saw the symbol! (; and i took it. haha, its the sunka? idk what its called.. but its rizal's symbol, and right now.. they are first place with points. but since i stole we get +5? and then DE JESUS FTW! we will be first(; hahah. stealing the symbol is fun. cause like the rush that you get when you're doing it, and the intense. ahah, well after that we went to target. HAHAH HILARIOUS, hella made fun of martin. i mean like not hella to be mean, well you just gotta be there(;

venting o4.

VEEEENTING time:
ugh, im soooo f-ing confused! im tired of this shit, i thought things were getting so much better. i was foolish to think that. why cant he just see that we love him! we do everything for him. we want him to realize that we do care. and we do want him to stay. but why can't he just see that. if he doesn't appreciate us, and he thinks that we aren't good enough for him, then yeah. my mom is right. there is no point in staying here with us. your just hurting us even more! ....so anyways i'll start at what first happened. went home, decorated the house more, then met up with my dad at church. my mom and i left before my dad/aj/arianna left. we went to pick up the food, get cake, and other stuff. we got home and set up the table and just had like a fancy dinner thing for my dad. then things kinda started to change once aj and i left the table. so i was in my room, starting my homework, when i had over heard them talking. i didn't hear much, but i heard a couple things. here i go again, being a little bit clueless and having missing pieces of the puzzle(situation). but from the previous blogs, you can tell im not the type of person to wanna know. because even though im still partially clueless about this sorta new information, it helps me. in a way, it helps because then i don't have to think much. i don't worry as much. annnd the way i look at this is that if i think too hard of something, it'll come true. so i don't wanna look at this in negative situations. i just wanna look at it from my point of view. or the way i would LIKE to look at it. so in that case i wouldn't be worrying as much. or getting hurt, and always thinking about it. but anyways, this isnt the dad i loved. this isnt the dad i do love. this isnt the dad i miss. i miss my dad, the dad i loved, the dad my mom got married to. the person who was always there and will always be there. the one who understood me. the one who helped me get through things when my mom couldn't. i can't believe things are changing. i cant believe HE'S changing. no one sees it. no one can. only us. because we were the ones with him from the start. we loved him, and always will. i could accept him now, i could accept the person he has changed into. but i wont. i can act like i do, i can say i do accept him for what he has become, but thats all just a lie i would be telling. because i DON'T want to accept it, i know i couldnt. i just cant. i dont even know who he is anymore. i don't even know if this person could ever change back to the way he was before. with the old ways. i miss the old person. and i know that somewhere deep inside, the person i miss, the dad i had, is somewhere there missing us back. loving us too. he's just, (sigh) just not here with us anymore. and ya know, my moms riight. he isnt the guy we first met. he isnt the dad my mom fell in love with. got married to. and i cant help but just say that i miss that dad, i want him back! call me selfish, but after what we've been through, i can't just let go of something that i thought was actually gonna stay and keep us happy. and i dont want this guy who's just here. not feeling the same way we do. who's never here for us. who doesnt wanna be here as much as we want him to be. and whats the point if he doesnt even appreciate the little things we do for him. if he cant see that everything we do IS for him. and if he cant see it, whats the point of always trying right? because its just gonna hurt us. it wont affect him, it'll affect us. because our dad now, seems like he doesnt even care. it seems as he has no heart. is he just confused? but i dont get why he would be. and what i dont get, is how we cant be good enough for him. if he wants another family. i hope he can find one that can love him back as much as we did. as much as we do. because im tired of trying to show him, trying to prove to him, that we will always love him. no matter what. and i know that I will always love him. even if he doesnt feel the same way back. and on top of all this heartache and pain he's causing, it hurts even more how i can see how my mom is feeling. my mom loves him. with all her heart, and she would do anything for him. and it hurts how it looks like he doesnt feel the same way back, and how it seems as if he wouldnt do anything for her anymore. ugh, i miss the old dad i had. i pray that he would come back. i pray that god would give him back to us. and help us have the dad we love so much and miss could come back. because i cant take any of this pain. im just tired of feeling it,still. and everything i felt, everything we did, everything we went through, are just memories. memories, that will last a lifetime. "/

MHM

so so so, the debut was niice! it was at my cousins house. they have a really big back yard. the decorations were nice! saw hella relatives that i havent seen in the longest time! like since i was 7? 8? well yeah. OH they saw a falling star. i missed it though "/ but it got me thinking of the first time i saw a falling star/shooting star. it was the only time ive seen one. it was when i went camping for my birthday. i was just looking up in the sky. then BAM, it just happened. and it was amazing. i made my wish. and that wish hasnt come true yet. or at least i dont think so. but anyways. it got me thinking about that wish. and yeah, i wish that it does come true. but i wonder if it already did. but that wish made me think of that person. mhm.. it was about a person :x haha, i miss that person. we dont even talk anymore. like at all. annd when we pass, we dont even say hi. i wanna say it, but then i want them to say it first. daaang, i really do miss our looong talks. we used to talk like everyday. but then things changed. things happened, and everything just ended. i dont even know why. ugh, whatever. alls i can say is, i miss you friend! and whats hard to explain, is that person hurt me the most. but i can't stop thinking about them. oh well. things happen for a reason. and maybe for the best.

wells,

saturday: nov15.

waiting to go to my cousins debut. im one of her 18 candles, and the party is at 4, so im kinda laaate. but hey, thats us filipinos. always late. haha, FASHIONABLY LAATE. (; well, ima see if we are leaving now. be back later. 

friday: nov14.

busy daaay! well, during school didnt do much. had a rally today. a sports rally. DAAAAMN, it was hella cool. haha, the runway. whoo! (; haha.. after school. went to target with 4whores and sarah sok. i bought things for my dad. his birthdays on tuesday, but since we were gonna celebrate it this weekend, and i had to go to my biological dads house. my brother and i decided to just decorate the house friday, when we got home. so i bought stuff. went home. and i still needed to pack. i had to wash clothes, pack, decorate the house, and cook rice, and clean the house, all before my dad came. so i was hella stressing out, cause i did everything but pack and my biological dad was already on his way to pick up me, and aj. so i was hela rushing. then yeah thats all. 

unbelievable

by craig david.mp3

nothing new happened today. but took bunch of pictures with aarons camera. haha, dont delete any k?(= i wanna see em! hm, procrastinating is such a bad habit! )=< anyways. went to target w/ martin, mariel, alex, and aj. eric pham asked me to be in their winterfest group thingy. so i guess i am =x erick campos is one of the strangest boys i will ever meet! haha, but my bestfriend!(: i gave advices to people today! i felt like a big help. its pretty cool helping people. haha! theeen, i talked to people for like the first time in the longest time. i found out new stuff today O.o i got put into peoples buddy info on their aim! i feel hella boss ;P just kidding. haha, they make me laugh. those fellas, oh my. today, was the 2nd day i've actually talked to bob. on aim. hahah! FCKKIN cracks me up though, i swear! LOL (literally) riite, bob? jeez, hella funny. just gotta be in the conversation to understand it i guess. and i found out he hated me o.o until he met me(: haha, but i understand why. he told me why. and i guess i would be mad too. dang, im coold right now D: i should finish my spanish homework. k, gnites blogspotters/bloggers. see yah on the flipside.


11 more days (;

wednesday/nov12.

nov12.wednesday;
not much going on, nothing new. woke up late, got to school late. FSU meeting was today. i stole the elephant! but jonathan, broke the trunk when he tried getting it back. so i had to give it back so they can fix it. haha, but i stole! which was hella siick, i was like a ninja ;p haha. went to wendys after school with alex hang, aj, martin, mariel, and tad. walked home with alex and aj. ate a bag of m&ms, but there's still the orange ones left. i dont like orange ones, like almost anything orange i dont like.. i meant the candy kinds. i love oranges, but like the candy thingys. eh :p i dont like em. orange gummy bears/ sour patch kids/ skittles/ starburst/ m&ms/ etc.. so now i have a bag of orange m&ms, and i dont wanna throw em away cause thats a waste! anyone want em?(= mkaay, guess not. ill just give them to aj. kk, time to sleep and hopefully wake up early. eat breakfast. and walk to school.

11.11.08

grr, todays gonna be a boring day. gotta stay home and watch my sister. oh wells. i have hella homework to do anyways. oh shiiit! and i gotta start practicing the poem i have to memorize BY thursday! )= craaap, and i have to recite it 4th. hm, three days of school. not bad. but this 4 day weekend got me eating a lot! especially that potluck, ate too much noodles!!! and a lotta cake (x but hey, they were hella good!! im sleepy, i wanna take a nap. but then im gonna end up staying up late, doing my homework. so might as well do it now. so yeah, byeee.

'08 homecoming court.

look what i found(=
.. homecoming court pictures!

potluck today!

mmk, so today was the homecoming potluck/banquet. went to linear around 1150am. decorated the cake with martin for mariel. people didnt start coming till like 1230ish. played extreme-ish dare. i didnt get dared, whooo! i left early tho )= hmm, the food was yummy! annd then i drank to much, i had to pee.. but the bathroom at linear didnt look to good, so me, matthew, martin, tad, and dj went to matthews house. i went to use the bathroom, martin and matthew got charcoal, tad and dj stayed in the garage and played pool. matthews house is pretty big! and i guess, so is his room. he gave me a piggy back ride back to linear. annd whatta dummy, didnt even know he had icing on his face. hahah! well, we got matthew good! we hella wet him, then the dares were pretty funny. KINDA extreme. the cake martin baked, and i decorated.. was GOOD! mmm(= OMG, thanks to martin i now have a big stain on my HOMECOMING shirt )=< jerk!!! well anyways, im just waiting for my parents. we are gonna go out. where? no clue. but im hungry! i wanna go eat. no school today, OR tomorrow! mmk, byee!

booored.

saturday, nov8.
ugh, didnt sleep till like 4am. woke up at 1pm. woow, only 8 hours of sleep. and im still kinda tired. bored watching my brother and my cousin playing guitarhero. im hungry D: i wanna go eat. im craving for cereal. haha, buut its lunch time already. im getting siick again. thanks to shon. hm, waiting for camille to come over. looks like its gonna rain. mk, late.

friday, nov7.
dang, today felt so loong! like lunch.. it seemed like it was longer, and we only have 35 minutes. thats not much, but today it seemed pretty long. hm, i got a ride to school today. and i was late, by like a minute. and then played basketball. pretty good, it was fun. OMG, in spanish2(period3) a bug crawled on me, it looked like a centipede D: with hella legs and shiit. fuuck, i got hella scared. it crawled up my arm too! )= ugh naasty. break, i ate a pb&j sandwich! but sadly at lunch, there wasnt any oranges. so i got a pear instead. BUT i didnt even eat it. KEVIN ate it ); theeen after school went to target with mariel and tad. sarah came, walked back to creek. finished this coloring worksheet for mitchell. then hung out at the tables. i got a piggy back ride from kevin breis. HELLA TALL!! haha, i was gonna slap erick's face, but he dodged annd because of his chin, i slapped him just a little. hahahah! just had to be there. and then went to the busloading zone with sarah. chilled there with jensenopilas/marielmackay/tadracca. OH, we made a crew sorta thingy called the 4 whores. me, mariel, tad and martin. hmm.. went to fairfield. made videos. jammed a bit. danced a lot. rocked out on rockband2. the end.

thuuursday.

HEY HEY HEY, guess what?! i got THREE oranges today! oh wait, FOOOOUR! wooot wooot! i love how i dont pay for them. friends just give it to me(; they're sooo nice! so first i got an orange from ashley. then richard. then alex. theeen jenny! but the first three oranges, i shared it, and gave it to donita and jenny and we had a peeling contest. i got the biggest orange, so i lost. then jenny got another orange for me(= martin is such a jerk! but hella funny! i swear, never a day where he DOESNT make me laugh. hanging out at that one place during lunch was fun. freaking martin, wrote in my history book! with pen! then after school, i had to finish my spanish test. it was hard. i kinda BS'd most of it. (x shhh! and then i went to the donuts with marie, moly, kristine, and aj. stayed there till like 3 something. had hella laughs though. then we went to target to use the bathroom. then after we just split up. me and aj home, moly home, kristine and marie to wendys, then marie to her ice skating thing, and kristine, probably home. and now. im home. and tired. and bored. GRR, im hungry too! im craving for some pho for some reason. hm, tomorrow is RAAP. my brothers going. this weekend mite be boooring )= im going to my dads house for the weekend. all the way in Newark. and its hecka cold there. its barely even hot. sucks too, cause they have a pool in their backyard. like there are days where its sunny but its still too cold to swim. dang, its been hella long since ive been to their house, almost 3 months. oh wells, im busy with hella stuff. mmk, gotta do bio and spanish hw. lateeers peeps.
i like this vitamin water flavor; essential(orange-orange)! (=

nov5

this morning, i went to starbucks and got some hot chocolate(= yum, but i kinda expected it to taste better. i saw linda at starbuck, and she was like are you gonna walk back to school, and i said yes. and she said i might spill my drink all over me. and i kinda did ;p it was hot too D: but it barely got on my clothes, so its all good. today was minimum day. after school, went to wendys with aj, jonnathan, kathryn dimasaca, annd ashley mamaril. we waited for nicole, monica, and alex. then i met courtney. then i went home. and now, doing homework! i have a lot today )= hmm, i did my nails too (; my family's in the living room.. singing. i guess its KARAOKE night ;X hahah, i sang earlier. haha, one of the songs were otso otso. hahaha! hm, its only 9! D: im getting tired already. OOOOH, i know. its cause i didnt take a nap today )= oh wait. or did i?! no i didnt. haha. so during lunch, i got 2 oranges (= and then martin, matthew and i planned a homecoming potluck! whooo(; i want real food though. i dont want no junk food. well, i hope not ALL are junk food. this is cool. planning it out and stuff. mmk, im done for now. byebye.

november 4th.

11/04. tuesday.

walked to school. HELLA COOOLD! got new seats in first and third. first period, i sit next to edwin now. and behind him is zac efron, ahahah. no, its alex. HELLA LOOKS LIKE HIM THOUGH! played volleyball for pe. my fingernail came off the skin a bit. ): it still hurts. then third period, got new seats yesterday. and so today i sat in a group with three new people. i dont even know them, but they're pretty cool. we talk already. but maybe im the only one who talks. ;P then fourth, was soooo boring. but talks with kathy, marc, and megan make that period go by kinda fast and fun. 5th period, took a basic quiz test. easy! then lunch, went to L11 for the FSU meeting. it was cool. i brought a tangerine from home, then paullyn came in and gave me an orange! (= whooo! i shared. and i put the orange peelings in martin's backpack. i wonder if he saaw them. =X haahh, oh wells. OH, and like we stole another groups item, but they stole ours, so it just cancels out. then 6th period. finished the happening. i think it was STUPID, no offense. thats just my opinion. ANNNND, it was bad acting! but i guess the whole point of the movie, in a way, is true. after that movie, watched this Obama film. then walked aaron to his 7th. walked to the front with tad/mariel/alex phi/and paullyn. mariel left. tad and neil were being jerks D: haha, funny stuff man! then talked with alex and paullyn. (= after 7th, walked home with paullyn and ajay. when i got home, i ate(= and now.. im sleepy. so naptime?(; kk. buuuh-bye.

venting o3.

you know, i thought things were getting better. day by day, i saw what i wanted to see. unfortunately, it was just what i wanted but not what really was going on. i wanted to see this, and i saw it. i wanted to think that everything was getting better and things werent going to get any worse. and i thought it. i believed it, but i was wrong. i didnt see pass any of this. i didnt know things would get this worse. i knew it couldve but i didnt know it would, i just didnt believe it. i couldnt. i wouldnt want to. so, my mom updated me again. and this is probably the last time she will because she said his mind is made up.. buuuuuut i really dont wanna talk about it. and if you can't tell yet. im really not in the mood. i just hope that he ends up happy because some point in life, where he was still here. where he was a part of our family, and when he actually wanted to be a part of it, he made us very happy. he was there for us, when we needed him the most. when no one could understand us, but him. and im thankful for that. im thankful that he was here, he made a huge impact in my life. he helped me overcome fears. he helped me throughout life, he supported me in things i wanted to achieve. i will always love him and i just wished that he wouldnt leave. but yaknow.. if thats what he wants, i can't stop him. none of us can. no matter how much i want to stop him, i know i cant. thats what he wants. but i hate what hes doing to us.. i really do hate it. i cant even stand looking at him, without wanting to cry. i just gotta hold it in. be brave for my sister and brother, and especially my mom. and the best i can do is try looking for the positive side, if there even is one. and the feeling i have right now, has gotta be one of THE WORST feeling in the world.
i need someone to just get this frown upside down, and just help me get through this. i need someone that can just help me not think about this as much and just make me laugh. and thats what friends are for. and im glad i have a bunch who can be this someone. because i dont really wanna worry about this to much. i cant make a difference, i cant change any of this. i want to, but im pretty sure nothing can change at this point. especially if he made up his mind..

raain!

woow! its hella cold D: i want the heater to turn on! annd i already have a blanket on! and its still cold. ugh day light saving was yesterday. i dont really like the time change. im not use to it yet. but its getting there. hmm, yesterday i finally watched the ring. it wasnt even that scary. but i dont wanna watch part 2. i heard that was scarier. well anyways, its raining right now. annd im eating a strawberry cheesecake (; YUUUUM! hehe. im tired! i mite take a nap soon ;P theen do homework. i have a lot! ):

whats up for today.

im still sleepy. but whatevers, im going to a birthday party. at this place called pump it up. theen after the party, off to fairfield. sleep over at shon's house, with camille(= HEY camille, better tell me about that one boy, michael, little missy!(; haha. mmkay, see you soon. love you blood(inside joke).